professional help.

i am gonna talk about me for a minute. or however long it takes you to read this.

I have a problem. i involve myself in other people's issues and then feel sorta obligated to finish/follow through with them . I mean it is hard for me to weatch things happen to my friends and not want to help. but then i get too involved, end up getting upset by the whole thing, and feel like i need to stop. but then i ask about it again. arrrgh its a sickness. i feel compelled to ask to make sure things are ok to help out as much as possible even if it means i am gonna go crazy.maybe its some weird sort of white knight/narscissitic (sp?) syndrom. maybe subconciously i offer my help because then i know people will think i am a good person which in turn makes me not such a good person
thinking about all of this gives me a headache.
i feel like in order to show that i love someone i have to be there for them as much as possible. even if it means slogging through shit i shouldnt be slogging through. i like to make dinners and desserts, plan for birthdays and even occasionally (actually very rarely) help clean house. but then because i am kinda nuts i get upset that there isnt someone there to take care of me the way i take care of other people. for clarification purposes i do not expect people to take care of me the same way but sometimes i hope there is someone out there who wants to comfort me in the same ways i like to comfort other people.
i give myself a headache , and re reading this makes me positive i need some professional help. luckily i am going to get that.
anyhoo... i will stop chattering about me and eventually write about my loverly daughter.