Beginnings

I am Annika Elaine's Mother. mama is what she calls me right now (i am hoping for mommy soon) My daughter was born in june of 2007. she was unplanned/planned. we had stopped birth control a long time previously in the hopes that whatever happened happened. in may of '06 I was diagnosed with pcos and told that we should start trying. so mama and dada started "trying" i am really bad at schedules and checking my temperature and remmbering if i am ovulating or pms'ing etc. so our "trying" was more of the same whatever happens stuff. My husband and i have been married for 4 years now, together for 10. we have had our ups and downs like any other couple. we had just come out of a down and were headed back up. My husband got a job on a tugboat and after his first 2 week trip away we made annika, quite by accident.
i found out about 5weeks and 4 ept's later. I finally accepted it on my lunch break during work one day. I wasnt terribly thrilled either.
i mean my husband and i had just started getting back into a good place, he had just started a new job which required at least 260 days of travel a year. i wasnt ready to gain more weight, and i wasnt sure i was ready to stop taking care of only me. it took a while to really enjoy it. I told my husband while he was on the boat. HE was Very excited for us. which helped me out a lot. i told my friends, who were very happy but possibly found it disarming that i was not overjoyed yet. ( i am not sure) I went to my dr's appts took my vitamins, ate the right food and genreally followed the rules. no delicious cheese that is blue and stinky or runny and stinking with a rind, 1 glass of wine after 1st trimester, <6oz of fish a week (not a hard one for me), snack, dont gain too much weight. all my ultrasounds were normal and aside from some illnesses throughout (the flu, pneumonia) everything went well.
then on june 7th 2007 i went in to have my daughter. i think actual labor started at 10 am i didnt have her until 9am on the 8th. i pushed for 3 hours, had a c section, which i had to go under full anesthetic for, and had my little girl. we knew she was coming out a girl so we had name picked out Annika Elaine. Annika because that is the only name my husband liked, and elaine after my grandmother. and except for her feet (which i have learned to deal with because on a baby they are so cute) i love every little inch of her. and that is how she came to be.
the purpose of this blog is for me to be able to write and figure things out, my daughter has epilepsy and it is still not controlled, and suddenly i am having trouble dealing with it. so i will write about it. blog about whatever, i will excorsise my demons via the web. i hope that whatever comes of this helps, makes you laugh, gives you information, or just a common thread in the universe.